I got my tattoos to commemorate my first big adventure and to remind me that anything is possible as long as I stay, “dextarious and deft and never mix my right foot with my left.”

 So I’m sitting in the chair of a rather nice tattoo parlor with a Hawaiian and Chinese friend of mine (who speaks better English than many native speakers I know.) The tattoo artist is a bad-ass Chinese hipster who speaks little to no English. As he’s working on my feet he hits a particularly sensitive part of my foot and I yell “Vaffanculo!” Which is Italian for, “go fuck your own ass hole.”

The Tattoo artists erupts in laughter and releases his foot from the pedal operating the machine so he can regain his composure.

Once he’s done laughing he looks at me and says in Italian. “So, you speak Italian?” Completely shocked I respond, “Yes, a bit.”  Panicked I hastily add,” but I wasn’t talking about you.”

“Yes, I know.” He says through laughter.
“Wait. How do you know Italian?” I ask.
“My wife is Italian, but I can only speak a little. How do you know it?” He says.

“My friends taught me, but I only know how to swear like a whore in church.”

“I see that.” He says.

We both share a laugh and he begins working again.

Before coming to China I honestly had no idea what to expect. I knew there was a huge wall, a 5,000 year history, a lot of people and they used chopsticks. Aside from that and a year of language study I really knew nothing else. At times I really thought I would be in some remote village waking up by the call of a rooster at dawn to catch the local rickshaw to class.

 If you would have told me that I would be in a city with more than 17 million people that is more modern than New York, in a hopping bar district, sitting at an incredibly clean and safe tattoo parlor speaking Italian with a Chinese man… I would have laughed in your face.

 At that point it felt incredibly suitable for me to be getting this tattoo, to this day it reminds me that the best way to have an adventure is to remain flexible and expect nothing. What would an adventure be without surprise?

Hey guys, I’m back.

 I know I disappeared from the world of Tumblr for awhile which was very unfair to my loyal followers.

Adjusting back to life in the States combined with a stressful, yet exciting semester left me little time to devote to my Tumblr.

 As time passed I realized that my memories are fading into nostalgia and I need to put something solid down so that I won’t forget them as the hands of time turn on.

So…do you think the universe expands and expands until it gets small or gets smaller and smaller until it’s big again? Are we incredibly small or staggeringly large? If a star went ‘wiz-bang’ 40 ba-jillion years a go and our universe sped out into what’s now the milky way and all of the other galaxies that exist…. does this mean we’re all the product of a star? One single spark that exploded and left us hurtling into what we are today? When we dissolve and get smaller until we are eventually so small we become stars, if so… how far down the rabbit hole do you think that is?

death-by-lulz

Yep! I arrive at 11:05 am in Omaha.

No Anon, I don’t want to see you naked. I imagine the rest of your body is gray with an awkward floral background.

Also, anoyone who uses lol in a screen name I just don’t need to see nude. 

After hiking through the mountains for roughly 15 miles we came upon a Buddhist temple. While exploring within the first gate we entered an old Buddhist monk approached Ottie, Ottie’s father and myself. He then gave us three sticks of incense each and asked us to pray with him. Ottie and I not wanting to offend happily enjoyed sharing the man’s culture. Having the necessary vocabulary to inquire about the methods of praying and the meaning behind each pose participating was a rather spiritual experience for me. After praying I felt great serenity within myself.

After we were done Ottie slipped out, but before I left another older man beckoned to me to come sit with him. He pulled out a purple piece of paper full of names, countries and prayers. I quickly followed suit filling out my information. Upon reaching the end of the row I saw a list of numbers. (100, 50, 250 etc…) I then asked what it was. The man then responded in very harsh and abrupt English. “HOW MUCH MONEY?!?”

At this point my tranquil experience crumbled before my very eyes for a few reasons. Up until this point only Chinese was spoken and I was greatly offended that he not only asked this question of me, but that he asked it in such a rude manner and in English. (If I can ask and understand how to pray surely I can understand how much money.) It was then obvious to me that he wasn’t interested in sharing his culture, but only interested in “How much money” I was willing to give. I found this rude because in my opinion spirituality is not about money, but rather about enlightenment.

Reluctantly I reached into my pocket and pulled out 5 Yuan. The man then shook is hands in my face and said, “NOT ENOUGH!”

This is the conversation that followed; (denotes Chinese)
Me: But it’s all I have.
Him: Not true! You are rich.
Me: Not true. I’m a college student.
Him: 5 Yuan not enough. Look at all of the money these other people gave. 100 200 50.
Me: But these people are probably people who have money. Five is better than nothing. Right? And giving nothing is easier than giving 5. I could just give you nothing.
Him: 5 is not good.
Me: (Pointing to Buddha) He doesn’t care how much money I give you.
Him: Maybe you can just give me 50. 50 isn’t a lot.
Me: No. This is very rude and I’m incredibly disappointed in this place. I will give you only five and leave.
Him: Fine. But put it in that box over there. This box is only for big money.

I could not believe that a Buddhist monk was trying to shake me down after having one of the most spiritual experiences in my life.

I guess this just goes to show that assholes exist in every religion.

After this my friend’s dad calls me the 5 Yuan Buddhist.
 

It’s been a few days since I’ve updated…

My second day in DaLi I was interviewed by a Chinese news company in both Chinese and English. If I can get a hold of the video expect to see it on here. They had many questions concerning tourism in DaLi and what a foreigner thought about it.
After DaLi we took a train to LiJiang, the city is beautiful, but only exists now for tourism. It’s a great shopping destination if you love handmade goods. We also made it to a small rural city while we were there to visit the world famous herbal doctor. Dr. Hu. There his son asked me to help edit his book on Dr. Hu’s life philosophy. In turn he gave me a free medical consult and medicine.

After LiJiang we made it to the world famous Shangrila. I found it beautiful, but in my opinion over rated. Please don’t misunderstand my meaning, the city is pretty, but the way it is talked about all over the world lead me to believe it was so much more.
There’s a great monastery there that was definitely worth the 15 mile bike ride out of the city. While we were there we met some very nice monks who invited us to some traditional butter tea and Yak cheese. They had just as many questions for us as we did for them. It was a great cultural exchange.
After Shangrila we made a lightning fast treck back to Kunming where I parted ways with my Italian traveling comrades. It was hard to say good bye, but because it came earlier than we expected it was almost better; like a band-aid. It’s sad to part ways with such good friends, but it is not ‘good bye’ it’s ‘see you later.’

After Kunming I hopped on a plain to Haikou (the capital of Hainan.) I also happened to book this plain all by myself while still in Beijing. This was my first plain that I’ve ever booked and I did it entirely in Chinese.

I landed in Haikou on the 15^th and immediately checked into my Hostel. The following day I spent at holiday beach, which was rather dirty, but a nice break. I also met some local guys and hung out with them for the day. Their dialect was rather hard to understand, but it’s not necessary to understand in order for you to enjoy, it is only necessary to enjoy.
After my day at the beach I was a little red so I spent the next two days just recovering and enjoying some down time.
I’m currently in SanYa. The southern most part of China. It’s called the “Oriental Hawaii.” It’s quite a beautiful place. Today I went with some new friends to the fish market to help them purchase some dinner for a barbeque tonight. After that we spent the rest of the day lounging in the beach and playing in the waves.